PSL for semistableman

[beardednomad]

[Everything had happened so fast. One minute everyone was fighting Thanos. Well, everyone they had left and even a few new faces, like the girl. Carol Danvers was the name she'd given them along with the explanation of her powers. Captain Marvel. He'd studied her a bit and they'd talked and he'd found that he'd liked her.

But that wasn't important now. During the battle there had been a moment. Steve wasn't sure what had led up to it, what had happened to give him that window of opportunity but they had all been fighting, everyone using everything they had left in them to battle Thanos and the next moment Steve had watched the gauntlet fall to the ground just within his reach. Really, there hadn't even been a moment of hesitation before he was picking it up. It was just like his thoughts had cleared and he knew what he had to do.

He hadn't even heard the others yelling at him at first as he'd slid the gauntlet on. The thing was huge, but he managed to make it work. His thoughts on everyone they had lost, on the mourning they had gone through. Tony said there could be a way to bring them back. What if it was as simple as another snap? Like the one Thanos had made, only with the intent of bringing everyone back? He didn't hear or see Tony, or Natasha, or any of the rest of the team yelling for him to stop. That they didn't know what could happen. All he could focus on was bring Bucky and everyone else back to them. And with that he closed his eyes and snapped.


-Weeks Later-


Even Steve should have known using something as powerful as the gauntlet would have come at a price. When he slowly opened his eyes he noticed just how weak he felt, how tired. Oh and he was sore. So very sore. He shifted ever so slowly, groaning quietly as his eyes started to adjust and almost immediately he saw the difference. Things didn't look quite the same as he expected. The colors off. He turned his head, lifting his hand to scrub his face which was when he noticed how small his hand and arm were.

Within moments, he was sitting up, staring down at himself in abject horror.]

Whats going on!?

[It was shouted as he looked around before his eyes landed on an all too familiar figure sitting in the chair next to the bed. It was then that everything was forgotten. The changes to his body, the pain and soreness, the confusion. It all melted away the moment he laid eyes on Bucky.]

Comments

[semistableman]

[It's not something Bucky could have envisioned, the serum certainly had seemed permanent, and it's not like he'd been able to think of anyone but Steve as he watched, and felt, his body slowly disintegrating. It's not like he'd thought much at all, just let the darkness take him.

Waking from death had been a lot like gasping for air after holding his breath too long, like he'd been drowning and his body stubbornly desperate to survive despite Bucky's mind continuously wondering what the damn point was when he was at his darkest. Before he'd really found himself able to rebuild his life in Wakanda. Even if he had been forced to fight again. He doesn't regret it, didn't regret being able to fight alongside Steve again.

He just hadn't ever thought he'd see the small, scrappy Steve Rogers ever again. The person he'd known his entire life. He leans forward, watching Steve carefully.]

Hey, Stevie.

[His voice sounds terrible, like it's been a long time since he's gotten a good night's sleep. By the fullness of his beard, he hasn't spent much time away from Steve's side at all.

It's not good, but when has Bucky ever put himself before Steve? He's not going to change anytime soon.]

Looks like the Gauntlet did a number on you. Doctors have told me your heart's in good shape, though.

[beardednomad]

[All he can really do for the longest time is just stare, but finally he realizes that Bucky is talking and he shakes himself slightly to clear his head.]

My heart?

[His brows furrow as he presses a hand to his bare chest, like he hadn't really even though of how bad his heart had been. How bad everything had been really. But things were different here, they'd talked about that before. Steve could actually live a normal life here, couldn't he? With the way modern advances worked? He could even be healthy.]

I guess we're lucky for that, right?

[He smiles a little sheepishly before shifting and reaching out for the other, grasping where he can. He tugged, though he certainly couldn't budge the other, not unless Bucky wanted to come.]

Get over here you lug. I need...I just need to touch you. To make sure you're real.

[semistableman]

[It's hardly the first sleepless night he's had taking care of Steve. There's more than he can count in the past, probably plenty of times he's forgotten. Thank God for modern medicine, things that didn't exist in the 40s, but exist now. Sure, Captain America's origin might be well known to everyone, but it's not like anyone but the two of them are the only ones who know just how things went, how many near misses there were.]

Yeah. We're lucky.

[It's a little strange, having Steve back to the way he used to be, and not the buff Adonis who had singlehandedly rescued him from Azzano. He lets Steve tug him onto the bed, even if it's bound to annoy whichever doctor decides to walk into the room first.]

All you gotta do is ask, pal, and I'll be there.

[Teasing is easier than a lot of things right now, but it doesn't stop him from reaching out to brush his hand against the side of Steve's face.]

[beardednomad]

[Its a bit obvious that Steve really couldn't care less who he annoys. Then again, he's been like that pretty much since forever so its not like its anything new. He was determined to keep Bucky close for as long as he could, settling in and tucking himself against Bucky's side before leaning into the hand that brushes against his skin. He closes his eyes, sighing quietly before grabbing the man's hand and pressing his lips against his fingers.

He'd spent too much time believing he could never have this again. Now that he does? There is no way he is letting Bucky go. His head lifts and he looks up at the other, his smile small and lopsided.]

How does it feel to be taller than me again?

[Its a tease as well, his eyes glinting a bit before he laughs softly. He refuses to think about the battle, to think about what could have happened if things had gone any differently. He has no clue if the others told Bucky what he'd done, but he's willing to bet that they had. He also figures that eventually, he'll get an earful for it. Bucky'd never had a problem reading him the riot act.

For now though? He's just going to enjoy this. He looks up as the door opens, narrowing a bit before he sits up some when Shuri and T'Challa both enter the room to check on him. They spend a few minutes explaining that they've already started administering medications through the IV in his hand that would help with some of the ailments he'd had in the past. Then Shuri explains that she can recreate the serum and even the process that Howard Stark used in the past, if Steve was interested. And wasn't that an interesting thought?

He sits quietly, contemplating it before looking up at Bucky.]

I need some time to think about it.

[semistableman]

[It doesn't bother Bucky in the least, wrapping his flesh hand around Steve's bony shoulder. It's comforting, in an odd way, reminding him of the past long ago, when they had to huddle up next to each other in the dead of winter, when they didn't have the money to afford both heat and electricity. All those blankets and body heat made Bucky feel as safe as he felt protective.

The lips against his fingers make him smile, all at once exhausted and happy.]

Feels a little weird, I'd gotten used to you being bigger than me.

[If he knew what Steve had done, he'd be angry. But right now, he's unaware-- beyond the obvious, that something Steve did burned through the serum completely, something Bucky hadn't considered for a moment was possible, considering he'd been given a version of it as well.

He's silent when Shuri and T'Challa enter the room, nodding in greeting, but staying where he is.

Recreating the serum, huh... He doesn't know what Steve would pick, even after as long as he's known the other man. Whatever Steve chooses, Bucky will support him. It doesn't matter to him, not after all of those years they spent supporting each other. Not after the months they spent fighting HYDRA with the Howling Commandos. When Steve turns his attention to Bucky, Bucky can't help the warm look on his face, ruffling Steve's hair despite himself.]

That's fine, pal. Take as much time as you need, I'm not going anywhere.

[beardednomad]

[After the two had left he shifted, grasping at Bucky before laying his head down on his chest. He didn't want the other going anywhere yet and he hoped that he wouldn't try.

He was strangely quiet though, obviously deep in thought over what the king and his sister had offered him. It was at least a good fifteen minutes before he finally spoke, voice low and distant, like he was distracted.]

We've been fighting for a long time, haven't we, Buck?

[Of course, he knew the answer to that. They had both survived through so much at that point, so much war and fighting. And he knew that even before this last conflict, before Thanos, Bucky had been tired. He'd been ready to bow out completely.

And then they had come along and pulled him right back in. His fingers moved absently, tracing unseen patterns as his thoughts continued to shift before he tilted his head and looked up.]

Been thinking...maybe its time we retired. I...I don't need the serum anymore. I don't need to be him anymore. We deserve it, don't we?

[He wasn't really sure what Bucky would think to be honest. There was a chance the man could have changed his mind and decided he wasn't done saving the world yet for all Steve knew, but he could hope. This was their chance to have a real life together, in a time that would actually accept them and their relationship.

He just wanted to grow old with the man. That was all he'd wanted since they were younger.]

[semistableman]

[Bucky doesn't try to get Steve to talk once the two have left, brushing his hand through Steve's hair, down his back. Steve being quiet doesn't worry him. Not right now. He'll need than that to be concerned, because as far as he can tell, Steve is healthy right now. They have modern medicine on their side, Wakandan medicine. He doesn't think there's another country on Earth where they'd be better off.]

Yeah. Across lifetimes, it feels like.

[He's been ready to quit for a long time now. So he doesn't have to keep fighting, so he can finally move on with his life. Being a farmer isn't easy work by any stretch, but it's work he wants to do. It's work he can do without fear of harming anyone else.

When Steve speaks, he leans his head onto the other man, looking at him warmly.]

Gonna have to make sure our house has some good heating, it can get cold at night.

[His smile is happy, because he's tired. Because Steve's tired. They're a couple of centenarians who pass as thirty-somethings. They have a lot of time left. Most of their lives.]

I hope you don't mind helping with the goats.

[beardednomad]

[He wasn't sure what he'd expected when he'd brought it up or how he'd expected Bucky to react but just the fact that the man seems to be totally on board has him giving one of his bright smiles.

He turned, wrapping his arms around Bucky as tightly as he can, fingers slipping into thick hair before he pulled back and pressed their lips together like he'd been wanting to do since he first woke up again.]

We'll get it figured out. We'll get it all figured out. We got a long time ahead of us for it.

[Especially now. Maybe he would see if they could find a way to modify the serum. He didn't want the super soldier body back. He didn't care about that anymore, but the serum had all but gotten rid of his medical ailments. Maybe it could do it again.]

[semistableman]

[He runs his flesh hand through Steve's hair, playing with the longer strands happily, tipping his head closer to Steve, loving the feel of Steve's fingers in his hair.

The kiss is warm and welcome, and he purrs into it, wanting more than ever to just spend time with Steve, to keep him here, without either of them having to worry about aliens, or evildoers, or whatever the hell else disaster might happen tomorrow. He's tired, and if he never has to deal with the end of the world again, it'll be too soon.

The fact that he pulls a possessive hand around Steve's waist.]

Wakandan medicine is incredible. I'm sure they'll think of something for you that works, so we can pick our lives back up. Maybe actually start living for a change.

[He's forgotten how much he likes curling up against Steve. How it feels at once nostalgic and coming home for the first time in years.]

[beardednomad]

[At the feel of Bucky's hand moving through his hair, his eyes close and he leans into the touch with a sigh. Moments later he tries to push even closer, smiling softly and humming as he bumps his nose playfully against the other man's.

Sure he knows there are chances that the world will want him to fight again. Bucky too, but if he has anything to say about it? They're done. Both of them. Perhaps maybe he can even suggest someone else to use the serum on. Sam, maybe. For now, that isn't important.]

You think so? I wouldn't mind that at all. Just the two of us...we could even get married now.

[His smile is warm and soft, wrapping both arms around the man and just staying as close as possible.]

[semistableman]

[Bucky can't help the smile on his face, nudging at Steve's nose with his own. He feels more relaxed than he has in a very long time, because part of him wants to believe it's over. That other people can take over for the two of them, people who are younger and haven't been through nearly as much as they have.

He might not look 101, but he had moments when he definitely feels his age.]

God, can you imagine?

[His tone, his expression is happy at the suggestion, curling up against Steve, against that familiar bony chest of his.]

It's such a normal thing here the only looks we'd be given would be as Captain America and White Wolf.

[beardednomad]

[Steve laughs at the nudge to his nose, his fingers moving to tangle deeper into Bucky's hair before he shifts his body to settle more into the other man.

He relaxes even more, laying so he was practically on top of Bucky, stretching out and letting his head be pillowed on his chest.]

It'll be a lot different now though. So much has changed from before. All that matters to me is finally getting to build a life with you.

[semistableman]

[This is just what he needs right now. Something to take his mind off of everything that has happened.]

Yeah. No more fighting, no more needing double dates...

[He feels wistful, and happier than he has in a long time.]

[beardednomad]

Definitely no more hiding what we are to each other. And I'm sure that even with me being like this, the media is going to have a field day with it, but we will get through it.

[He takes Bucky's hand, pulling it up to his lips and brushing them across his knuckles slowly.]

Tony knows. The whole team does now. After how hard I fought...how could they not? Before the last battle with Thanos, he offered to help us with the media outburst if we decide to go public.

[His head tilts back and he cranes up so he can kiss Bucky once more, sighing happily into it.]

[semistableman]

He does?

[Bucky's tone is curious, especially considering the last time he'd met Stark, things hadn't exactly gone well. It had been why Steve had ended up in Wakanda as Nomad to begin with-- he still felt regret over it, Steve throwing his life away for a man who had committed so many atrocities Bucky still doesn't remember them all.]

...I'd like that.

[He smiles into the kiss, only speaking again once they've pulled away to breathe.]

If we stay in Wakanda, it might be a while before word gets out, too.

[beardednomad]

Me and Tony...during the time you and the others were gone...we had a lot of time to talk and work through things.

Its not all perfect, but he certainly isn't going to try to kill you again. He understands now that you weren't...well, you. You were brainwashed.

[He smiled back then, nodding a bit.]

I mean, Wakanda is opening up a lot more. They've had more and more people coming in just to see the place, to share in the technology. Shuri was in charge of it, but now that T'Challa is back they'll be doing it together.

[semistableman]

[Bucky makes a hn noise, clearly still wary at the idea, but ultimately he trusts Steve's judgement. He's too happy to be alive, too happy to have Steve back to want anything else right now.

He brushes his hand through Steve's beard, thoughtful and happy.]

Wakanda might be getting tourists, but I can't imagine most of 'em are going to have any interest in the farms.

I still think we'll be okay for a while.

[beardednomad]

[He leaned into that touch, making a face before laughing at how it felt.]

I think I need to shave. I don't know if the beard works anymore with me looking like this.

[He teased, catching Bucky's hand before pulling it to his lips and kissing his knuckles.]

The minute they come back in I'm telling them I want to go home.

[semistableman]

[Bucky can't help the laugh that escapes him, feeling some of the tension in his lips escaping his body.]

I think the look's growing on me. I might have to hide the razors from you.

[He smiles at the kiss, curling up against Steve.]

You want me to carry you to the bike?

[beardednomad]

[Steve made a face before laughing and settling closer.]

Even looking like this? I don't look weird being so small with a bushy beard?

[He brushed his fingers through his hair slowly again before pressing closer. He thought about the offer, biting his lip before nodding.]

You're gonna drive, right?

[semistableman]

I don't think so, no.

[His smile is mischievous, though.]

'Course I'll drive. You'll have to hold on tight. Think you can manage that?

[beardednomad]

If you say so, Buck.

[His own smile was the same and he nodded, raising an eyebrow.]

You think I can't hold on? Buck, if you think for a second I'm going anywhere...well, you got another thing coming.

[semistableman]

I say so.

[That's said with confidence.]

Just checking. You are in a hospital bed.

[beardednomad]

Well alright then.

[He laughs softly, moving around a bit again until he was facing Bucky and sitting in his lap. His legs straddled the other man's hips as best as he could, settling there and sliding his arms around his shoulders again.]

I love you, Buck. And I promise I'll hold on nice and tight. Make sure I don't go anywhere.

[semistableman]

[The closeness has him smiling, curling up against Steve. Even with him like this, back to the bony man Bucky first started getting feelings for, kissing at his temple.]

Love you too, Stevie.