Just as he'd promised, Steve stayed by Winter's side the entire time,
wincing a bit at just how determined HYDRA had been at keeping the mask on
their soldier. It made him wish he could fight them all over again. He
squeezed Winter's hand before freezing when the mask was removed. There was
blood, but even then, there was no way that Steve didn't recognize that
face.
It took everything in him not to rip his hand away in shock. Shuri looked
up at him to speak and blinked at the look on his face. "Captain Rogers, is
there something wrong?" He simply cleared his voice before giving just the
barest nod.
He was still trying to wrap his head around what he was seeing as Shuri
moved to clean the man up. She gently wiped away any blood, tending to him
even as she waited for Steve to say something. Anything.
Finally, he managed to shake himself free from his shock.
Winter opens his eyes when Shuri asks the Captain if something is wrong, but the colors are too sharp and watery all at the same time, so he closes them again. The Captain clears his throat. The techs and Princess Shuri continue.
He can tell he's bleeding in the face and his jaw feels weird without the weight of the mask. He blinks his eyes open just as the Captain speaks again.
"Me?" He asks weakly. How could the Captain know him?
He looked down when he heard the man speak, nodding again and swallowing
hard. "I'd know that face anywhere. Grew up...staring at it." He breathed
out slowly, free hand scrubbing the back of his neck as Shuri got a better
look at him now that the blood was gone.
"Oh my..." Then she looked up at Steve. "James Barnes." Steve nodded, brows
furrowing and sadness in his eyes, though there was hope too. "They'd been
experimenting on him...with everything going on we never were able to look
for him after he fell from the train..."
And maybe it wouldn't have done any good because he knew in his heart that
he was not looking at a clone. This was his best friend, the one he'd
mourned, whose death he'd blamed himself for.
"We need to go through the files we took from them again. There has to be
something..."
'Grew up staring at it' gets Winter to open his eyes sharply and stare at the Captain. Steve. Since there's names (he has a name? not just a title?) now maybe he should call him Steve.
Ugh. Captain is better, in his head.
"Me?" He repeats, because. Well. "I saw him. In the museum." He watched the Captain the same way that Winter watches the Captain. He smiled, easily, but was haunted a little.
The room spins, slightly, and Winter squeezes the Captain's hand again, before leaning into his arm. "Okay." Whatever it means, it's okay.
He knew the other would still be foggy from the medicine, but once Shuri
and the others were done with him and he was cleaned up, Steve nudged his
arm gently. "We should probably get you somewhere you can rest more
comfortably. Its...maybe it'd give us a chance to talk." He said softly,
biting his lip.
Shuri stopped them before Steve could take him out though, giving them both
looks. "Win..." She paused, sighing. "Mr. Barnes will be able to eat and
drink regular instead of using the feeding tube now, but it will take him
some time to get used to it. Soft foods to start off with. Nothing too
complex. I expect you to keep an eye on that, Captain." Steve nodded,
smiling at her before turning to him.
"We could go to your quarters. Or mine. I've never been to yours..."
Winter - James - Mr. Barnes, what even is that - frowns a little softly at the idea of Steve in his rooms. They're still a blank space except for some art that Princess Shuri gave him and plants from the Widow. "Not much to see," he says tiredly, but shrugs.
There's a whole process of standing and being upright which is...weird. The room spins and it takes the arm on his to keep him upright. Then he nods. If the Captain wants to see his room, then that's fine. "No food there." A beat. "Wait on the knife trick." Since he can't do it right now.
"I've got food in mine then. We can go there." He said, releasing his hand
and wrapping an arm around him instead. "Hey, lean into me. You're gonna
feel pretty woozy for another hour or two at least. We can worry about food
after the meds have worn off. We'll get you a bottle of water and you can
rest for a bit."
He started walking with him back towards the elevator. "If you'd be more
comfortable with it...I can still call you Winter. I know you
don't...remember. Being Bucky." He bit his lip, looking at him carefully.
Nothing had ever felt so hard in his life. All he wanted to do was pull the
man into his arms and hug him and never let go. But he didn't want to
overwhelm him.
"Okay," he says to...all of that. He isn't sure what name he's supposed to go by now, but Bucky sounds like a cartoon, not a person. He does lean into the Captain though, letting his eyes drift shut for a moment.
"Remember...some stuff." He remembers a smaller version of the Captain and he remembers being strapped to a bed and seeing the Captain above him and thinking he'd died and gone to heaven or something because here was...
And then the memory clears out, so he doesn't know what else. He keeps walking but he shuts his eyes and allows himself to lean against the other man and take that gait on himself. It's easier than the strange looks they get from the occasional person in the hallways.
Also he wants to see the Captain's rooms if he's being truthful.
When they finally made it to his quarters he opened the door and guided
Winter inside. He helped him to the couch before going to get them both
something to drink. The room was warm, standard furniture replaced with
Steve's own choices and style. Everything was comfortable and had a lived
in quality to it.
On the coffee table there were several sketchpads with different projects,
but one had sketches of different people. Natasha and Clint, Tony, just
whoever he had thought to sketch at the time.
There was also art on the walls, things Steve had picked out and even a few
things he had painted himself. He smiled when he came back, holding out a
bottle of water. "Just remember what Shuri said, take it slow."
He liked that the room was warm, that it didn't remind him of anything terrible or anything cold or frightening. It was just the Captain's, and a small voice in his own head (in his own voice) informs him that the art he tries to peer at and almost faceplants into was drawn by Steve's own hand.
He looks at his hands, the metal and the flesh, and turns them over. Could he make art like that? Probably not. But it's interesting to think about isn't it?
His vision is a little too blurred to make out the art on the walls without moving from the couch, which feels like a poor idea at the moment.
Sitting up when the Captain returns, he takes the water bottle and tries for carefully, but he's so thirsty that it's difficult until his throat protests. He can feel the bones in his jaw repairing themselves, and it makes him want to clench and unclench his jaw.
Steve is watching him, he can tell even just from glancing out of the corner of his eyes, and that makes Winter feel...weird. Only a little. He likes it more than it's weird, he realizes.
"Thank you."
He stares for a moment, blinks, and looks away. "He watched you. Barnes. In the video. In the museum."
"Hey, careful, like I said. You haven't been able to eat or drink anything
properly in a...probably a long time. You don't want to overdo it and make
yourself sick." He said seriously, reaching out and touching his arm.
"Bucky was always like that. Always watching me and watching out for me."
He chuckles, shaking his head before shrugging a shoulder. "Spent...years
doing just that. He was..." He trailed off, swallowing and looking down. "I
mean, still is...my best friend. My...everything. I guess." He admitted,
blushing and sighing.
He can see the other working his jaw slightly and he shifted a bit closer.
"Can I? Bucky...he got into a real bad scrape once trying to protect me.
Gave as good as he got, but still got the snot kicked out of him. I spent a
week massaging his jaw because of it. Might...feel good."
"I watch you," he said, shaking his head slowly from side to side. "I watch out for you." During the mission, mostly. "Not the same thing."
Watching Steve's face while he talked about Bucky James Barnes was interesting. Winter reached out and touched the Captain's cheek, curious about the change of color. It was then that he remembered he'd been asked a question, but even running the statement back took him a moment.
Now it's his turn for his face to feel hot, and his eyes go a little wide as he nods.
He looked shocked when the other touched his cheek, reaching up and
covering his fingers. "But it is the same thing. You watch out for me. He
watched out for me too." He nodded then, clearing his throat.
He moved closer, reaching out before he started massaging first the hinge
of his jaw carefully. He rubbed slowly down, helping him work his jaw a bit
and encouraging him to open and close his mouth slowly.
"How is that?" He asked, pulling his hands away after a few minutes and
smiling warmly.
The massage gives Winter enough time to try and collect his thoughts about why there is a difference between watching and watching out for. He lets his eyes slide shut as his jaw is massaged, opening and closing his mouth as instructed, only opening them again when he's asked a question.
"Better." It does feel less tense and pained. He swallows and picks up the water again, but before he tries to drink, says: "Watching is different. Watching out for means there is a danger. Watching is just to watch."
"You watch me too." He said, nodding. "I've watched you. I...well, its kind
of funny now but for a while I kept thinking about how you had the same
eyes as him and then...I mean I know you can't remember but maybe things
will start coming back more."
He leaned back, getting settled a bit. "How are you feeling now? Anything I
can get for you or...I mean, you could lay down if you wanted to." He
motioned to the couch they were on. "I've got a couple of extra pillows and
a blanket or two. I could throw something on the tv and just let you rest."
Honestly, he wasn't sure what to do. He didn't want to overwhelm the other
man, but he couldn't help just wanting to try and do anything he could to
help. Especially if it might help him remember.
Winter nods. He has come to terms in his own way with the idea that he might not remember his life, with HYDRA or before, but then again based on what he's been told? There's not a lot of good to remember, there.
But a life lived with Steve Rogers would be worth remembering. Growing up with him. They were close, but he wonders how close?
The idea of asking sets him on edge. It might just make the Captain sad and he doesn't want that.
"TV." He likes television, likes the variety of stories and the brightly-colored animations and dramas that meant nothing in the real world. He avoided wartime stories though. "What's your favorite?" He wants Steve to stay with him.
"Alright, TV it is then." He grabbed the remote, turning the TV on before
finding something that wasn't likely to trigger either of them.
Like Winter, he stayed away from most wartime stories. Though it just
depended. "Right now? Crazy as it sounds, I'm kind of loving the Star Wars
movies? Tony got me to start watching them and...well, I really like them.
Maybe we could watch them together sometime. If you haven't seen them."
He moved to get up, setting the remote down and smiling. "Is there anything
else I can get you? To make you more comfortable? Or help you rest?" He
didn't realize Winter wanted him to stay.
"Oh! No its...its called Star Wars. Its a movie. Kind of hard to explain
really, but its all this stuff in outer space. I'm not really great at the
explanation." He blushed a bit at the request, nodding before moving to go
get them a couple bottles of water.
Then he settled back on the couch next to Bucky. "If you wanted to lay down
though...just let me know. I can move...or you could, you know, lay on
me..."
'All this stuff in outer space' has him deeply frowning his confusion at Steve. That was the worst explanation he's gotten for anything.
The suggestion to lay on the other man sounds ideal at this moment, so after he takes the bottle and Steve is settled sitting on the couch, he leans slowly until his head has hit the blond man's shoulder. It takes a few more moments to adjust that into some semblance of a comfortable position, but once he does, he sighs.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2020-05-04 05:17 am (UTC)Just as he'd promised, Steve stayed by Winter's side the entire time, wincing a bit at just how determined HYDRA had been at keeping the mask on their soldier. It made him wish he could fight them all over again. He squeezed Winter's hand before freezing when the mask was removed. There was blood, but even then, there was no way that Steve didn't recognize that face.
It took everything in him not to rip his hand away in shock. Shuri looked up at him to speak and blinked at the look on his face. "Captain Rogers, is there something wrong?" He simply cleared his voice before giving just the barest nod.
He was still trying to wrap his head around what he was seeing as Shuri moved to clean the man up. She gently wiped away any blood, tending to him even as she waited for Steve to say something. Anything.
Finally, he managed to shake himself free from his shock.
"I know him."
no subject
Date: 2020-05-04 05:39 am (UTC)He can tell he's bleeding in the face and his jaw feels weird without the weight of the mask. He blinks his eyes open just as the Captain speaks again.
"Me?" He asks weakly. How could the Captain know him?
no subject
Date: 2020-05-04 05:47 am (UTC)He looked down when he heard the man speak, nodding again and swallowing hard. "I'd know that face anywhere. Grew up...staring at it." He breathed out slowly, free hand scrubbing the back of his neck as Shuri got a better look at him now that the blood was gone.
"Oh my..." Then she looked up at Steve. "James Barnes." Steve nodded, brows furrowing and sadness in his eyes, though there was hope too. "They'd been experimenting on him...with everything going on we never were able to look for him after he fell from the train..."
And maybe it wouldn't have done any good because he knew in his heart that he was not looking at a clone. This was his best friend, the one he'd mourned, whose death he'd blamed himself for.
"We need to go through the files we took from them again. There has to be something..."
no subject
Date: 2020-05-04 06:20 am (UTC)Ugh. Captain is better, in his head.
"Me?" He repeats, because. Well. "I saw him. In the museum." He watched the Captain the same way that Winter watches the Captain. He smiled, easily, but was haunted a little.
The room spins, slightly, and Winter squeezes the Captain's hand again, before leaning into his arm. "Okay." Whatever it means, it's okay.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-04 06:25 am (UTC)He knew the other would still be foggy from the medicine, but once Shuri and the others were done with him and he was cleaned up, Steve nudged his arm gently. "We should probably get you somewhere you can rest more comfortably. Its...maybe it'd give us a chance to talk." He said softly, biting his lip.
Shuri stopped them before Steve could take him out though, giving them both looks. "Win..." She paused, sighing. "Mr. Barnes will be able to eat and drink regular instead of using the feeding tube now, but it will take him some time to get used to it. Soft foods to start off with. Nothing too complex. I expect you to keep an eye on that, Captain." Steve nodded, smiling at her before turning to him.
"We could go to your quarters. Or mine. I've never been to yours..."
no subject
Date: 2020-05-04 07:02 am (UTC)There's a whole process of standing and being upright which is...weird. The room spins and it takes the arm on his to keep him upright. Then he nods. If the Captain wants to see his room, then that's fine. "No food there." A beat. "Wait on the knife trick." Since he can't do it right now.
He wonders what they'll have to talk about.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-04 07:11 am (UTC)"I've got food in mine then. We can go there." He said, releasing his hand and wrapping an arm around him instead. "Hey, lean into me. You're gonna feel pretty woozy for another hour or two at least. We can worry about food after the meds have worn off. We'll get you a bottle of water and you can rest for a bit."
He started walking with him back towards the elevator. "If you'd be more comfortable with it...I can still call you Winter. I know you don't...remember. Being Bucky." He bit his lip, looking at him carefully.
Nothing had ever felt so hard in his life. All he wanted to do was pull the man into his arms and hug him and never let go. But he didn't want to overwhelm him.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-04 07:30 am (UTC)"Remember...some stuff." He remembers a smaller version of the Captain and he remembers being strapped to a bed and seeing the Captain above him and thinking he'd died and gone to heaven or something because here was...
And then the memory clears out, so he doesn't know what else. He keeps walking but he shuts his eyes and allows himself to lean against the other man and take that gait on himself. It's easier than the strange looks they get from the occasional person in the hallways.
Also he wants to see the Captain's rooms if he's being truthful.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-04 07:41 am (UTC)When they finally made it to his quarters he opened the door and guided Winter inside. He helped him to the couch before going to get them both something to drink. The room was warm, standard furniture replaced with Steve's own choices and style. Everything was comfortable and had a lived in quality to it.
On the coffee table there were several sketchpads with different projects, but one had sketches of different people. Natasha and Clint, Tony, just whoever he had thought to sketch at the time.
There was also art on the walls, things Steve had picked out and even a few things he had painted himself. He smiled when he came back, holding out a bottle of water. "Just remember what Shuri said, take it slow."
no subject
Date: 2020-05-04 08:41 am (UTC)He looks at his hands, the metal and the flesh, and turns them over. Could he make art like that? Probably not. But it's interesting to think about isn't it?
His vision is a little too blurred to make out the art on the walls without moving from the couch, which feels like a poor idea at the moment.
Sitting up when the Captain returns, he takes the water bottle and tries for carefully, but he's so thirsty that it's difficult until his throat protests. He can feel the bones in his jaw repairing themselves, and it makes him want to clench and unclench his jaw.
Steve is watching him, he can tell even just from glancing out of the corner of his eyes, and that makes Winter feel...weird. Only a little. He likes it more than it's weird, he realizes.
"Thank you."
He stares for a moment, blinks, and looks away. "He watched you. Barnes. In the video. In the museum."
no subject
Date: 2020-05-04 08:48 am (UTC)"Hey, careful, like I said. You haven't been able to eat or drink anything properly in a...probably a long time. You don't want to overdo it and make yourself sick." He said seriously, reaching out and touching his arm.
"Bucky was always like that. Always watching me and watching out for me." He chuckles, shaking his head before shrugging a shoulder. "Spent...years doing just that. He was..." He trailed off, swallowing and looking down. "I mean, still is...my best friend. My...everything. I guess." He admitted, blushing and sighing.
He can see the other working his jaw slightly and he shifted a bit closer. "Can I? Bucky...he got into a real bad scrape once trying to protect me. Gave as good as he got, but still got the snot kicked out of him. I spent a week massaging his jaw because of it. Might...feel good."
no subject
Date: 2020-05-04 09:33 am (UTC)Watching Steve's face while he talked about Bucky James Barnes was interesting. Winter reached out and touched the Captain's cheek, curious about the change of color. It was then that he remembered he'd been asked a question, but even running the statement back took him a moment.
Now it's his turn for his face to feel hot, and his eyes go a little wide as he nods.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-04 09:57 am (UTC)He looked shocked when the other touched his cheek, reaching up and covering his fingers. "But it is the same thing. You watch out for me. He watched out for me too." He nodded then, clearing his throat.
He moved closer, reaching out before he started massaging first the hinge of his jaw carefully. He rubbed slowly down, helping him work his jaw a bit and encouraging him to open and close his mouth slowly.
"How is that?" He asked, pulling his hands away after a few minutes and smiling warmly.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-04 10:10 am (UTC)"Better." It does feel less tense and pained. He swallows and picks up the water again, but before he tries to drink, says: "Watching is different. Watching out for means there is a danger. Watching is just to watch."
no subject
Date: 2020-05-04 08:12 pm (UTC)"You watch me too." He said, nodding. "I've watched you. I...well, its kind of funny now but for a while I kept thinking about how you had the same eyes as him and then...I mean I know you can't remember but maybe things will start coming back more."
He leaned back, getting settled a bit. "How are you feeling now? Anything I can get for you or...I mean, you could lay down if you wanted to." He motioned to the couch they were on. "I've got a couple of extra pillows and a blanket or two. I could throw something on the tv and just let you rest."
Honestly, he wasn't sure what to do. He didn't want to overwhelm the other man, but he couldn't help just wanting to try and do anything he could to help. Especially if it might help him remember.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-05 06:51 am (UTC)But a life lived with Steve Rogers would be worth remembering. Growing up with him. They were close, but he wonders how close?
The idea of asking sets him on edge. It might just make the Captain sad and he doesn't want that.
"TV." He likes television, likes the variety of stories and the brightly-colored animations and dramas that meant nothing in the real world. He avoided wartime stories though. "What's your favorite?" He wants Steve to stay with him.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-06 07:31 pm (UTC)"Alright, TV it is then." He grabbed the remote, turning the TV on before finding something that wasn't likely to trigger either of them.
Like Winter, he stayed away from most wartime stories. Though it just depended. "Right now? Crazy as it sounds, I'm kind of loving the Star Wars movies? Tony got me to start watching them and...well, I really like them. Maybe we could watch them together sometime. If you haven't seen them."
He moved to get up, setting the remote down and smiling. "Is there anything else I can get you? To make you more comfortable? Or help you rest?" He didn't realize Winter wanted him to stay.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-07 08:41 am (UTC)Yes. Now seems like the ideal time to practice asking for it. He's going to be stuck here anyway while he heals, and the Captain just asked, so.
"More water. And. You to stay."
no subject
Date: 2020-05-13 03:38 am (UTC)[So sorry I didn't reply sooner!]
"Oh! No its...its called Star Wars. Its a movie. Kind of hard to explain really, but its all this stuff in outer space. I'm not really great at the explanation." He blushed a bit at the request, nodding before moving to go get them a couple bottles of water.
Then he settled back on the couch next to Bucky. "If you wanted to lay down though...just let me know. I can move...or you could, you know, lay on me..."
& then it was my turn to take an eternity to tag back
Date: 2020-06-15 03:19 am (UTC)The suggestion to lay on the other man sounds ideal at this moment, so after he takes the bottle and Steve is settled sitting on the couch, he leans slowly until his head has hit the blond man's shoulder. It takes a few more moments to adjust that into some semblance of a comfortable position, but once he does, he sighs.
"Let's watch a Star War."